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Lee 50. From Plymouth. Married. One daughter, three step sons. Counsellor/Therapist.

How are you?

I'm a bit tired due to work. For me nothing has changed since the pandemic, in fact I’ve got more work. All therapy is now on screens. I find it more draining than in person. 

How do you see yourself? 

Whilst training to be a counsellor, the first question they ask you is - Who are you? You think, what a silly question, but then you realize you don't know yourself that well until you start working on yourself.

I’m happy within myself but I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I feel, it’s never quite good enough! Self doubt creeps in. I sometimes have Imposter Syndrome but I think that can be healthy. I didn't have much confidence when I was younger. I was good at most things but if an obstacle came up, I’d give up. From ages 11 to 16, I raced BMX bikes, I was 7th in the country but all of a sudden obstacles got in the way, so I gave up!  To validate myself I had to be the best. When I wasn’t getting that validation my inner critic would be really hard. 

My mum was really anxious when I was growing up. She created a sense of fear in me. I used to be fearless. I was a good BMX rider, a good skateboarder. I ran my own magazine but when I was 18 a really close friend of mine drowned whilst on family holiday, I became quite fearful for a time after that.

Interesting pont of refernce Lee told me - Studies have shown if someone's going through a stressful time between conception to birth, cortisol  - the stress chemical is released, so the child comes into the world predisposed to stress. 

Where does your energy go? 

I love it as soon as we get to March and the sun comes out, my energy starts to increase. I love being outdoors especially at night in the warmer months. It gets to late September, we’ve gone through summer, then we have to wait all the way round to March again.

People can energise me but also drain me. There is something in some people that can light me up and others that are hard work. 

What are your dreams?

I would like to climb Everest, actually I’d like to climb any of the big mountains. I’ve always been fascinated by them. I love being up high and seeing a view. I’d love to live in California. There’s something about it that feels very familiar. 

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