The Blog

Time over again I would have allowed toy guns in the house

Sonia 56 from Croydon. Lives with her long term partner and their three grown up children. Works part time in the voluntary sector. 

How are you? 

Ummm! I have too many people in my house. Not having my own space and having a partner that resorts to being like a child is what’s happening in my life at the moment. 

What’s your most memorable experience? 

Meeting my partner. I knew at that moment we were going to be great mates. It wasn't love at first sight but there was an instant bond.

What brings you down?

Moaning, people who moan when they have a good life. The world sometimes gets me down, the world at war and weaponry. 

How do you see yourself?

I must be doing something right as I get on with people and people smile at me a lot. It must be because I smile at them. I don’t see myself as I am, I see myself as lonely. I’m quite a shy inside but there’s a showoff somewhere inside that’s never come out.

What gets you out of bed in the morning?

I don’t like getting out of bed. Bed is security and I don’t have to think.

Where does all your energy go?

What energy? (laughing) My energy is wasted, it leaves me. I don’t use it. I waste too much of it on thinking, I analyse things.

What do you like about yourself?

I am a calm, loving person and I feel good about myself. I have a quiet confidence.

Who or what inspires you? 

Edward Lear poetry. I love poetry. I once wrote a poem at school and was accused by the teacher that I had copied it. 

How do you feel about body image?

When you're young you don’t know how beautiful you are but that’s because you're young!

How do you feel about kids?

There’s not a day goes by that I don’t tell my kids I love them and vice versa. There’s always lots of hugs.

Time over again I would have allowed toy guns in the house. (She thinks this may be a reason her son is keen to join the army)

How do you best express yourself?

By pulling lots of silly faces, silly dancing and through the comfort of my own home. By love and by hugging. I was raised with lots of love and kisses. 

Who or what inspires you? 

Acts of kindness. People who go out of their way to help somebody. Creators. Humanity is quiet incredible. 

What do you think about life?

It’s the evolution of the universe. Part and parcel of something I don’t understand. I wonder if there is a reason, is there something missing? It seems to me a bit Ground Hog day. Is it going to take time before we know how to be? Does it take time to be out of this chaos? 

In a selfish way it would be nice to be cut off but then you wouldn't know what’s going in the world. 

Because we are all electric then there is energy. If it does nothing more than bring a positive outlook then there is hope.

There will be changes in your life and you never know when your life will change and that’s exciting. I need to start changing myself.

I think to have responsibility for your own feelings is important.