The Blog

I’m afraid it’s unwanted relative syndrome

Katie 44 married with three boys from London. Works part time as a researcher.

How are you?

At this very point in time I’m in a stressful place. We have a decrepit elderly uncle coming to stay. I’m afraid it’s unwanted relative syndrome. We pass him around until the music stops. There are parallel arguments with my siblings over this. 

What’s your most memorable experience?

I had my first epileptic fit when I was thirty seven weeks. I had to spend the night in the labour ward - that was very scary. 

(I said I thought her first memory would be when her dad died) I’m very good at blocking out memories, I file things away until someone sparks a memory. I don’t like to over indulge. But yes, my Dad committed suicide when I was twenty six. The hardest thing was telling my sister, we had to meet her off her plane to give her the news.

How do you think other people see you?

I worry that other people see me as a bit boring. I enjoy a good time but am not the life and soul. I’m not the creator of that good time. I love joining in. I’m an introvert.

What brings you down?

I hate arguments and I hate getting angry in front of the children. I’m quite effective at blocking things out. Me and my Husband don’t bury stuff but he has no middle ground.

What do you like about yourself?

I’m a positive person and I have a calming influence. I appreciate being slim and cannot believe I wasn’t more confident when I was younger. But this year for the first time I feel I’m starting to look my age and that’s ok.

Are you free?

I don’t feel weighed down by motherhood. At this point in my life I am putting my children first. Maybe I should be thinking about myself but my turn will come. You can create your own freedom. My freedom is planned - I haven’t got spontaneous freedom but I don’t feel trapped, I feel in control.