The Blog

It’s the small things - give people your time. 

Terrie 50, from South London. She lives with her long term partner. They have two children. 

How are you?

I’m alright I think! I’ve just hit 50 so I’m quite pleased I made it this far, I almost died twice: once when I was a kid, I got knocked over by a car and my head cracked open, that was bad. Then when I was giving birth to my daughter I lost five pints of blood. I remember thinking, “fuck, I’m going to die.”

How do you see yourself?

I’m always looking for approval. I’m bothered by what people think of me. I feel I have to justify myself all the time.

My mouth engages before my brain sometimes. I wish I could stop myself but I speak my mind. If someone says "do I look fat in this"’, I would have to say "Yes", if they did!

Where does all your energy go?

Into the family, I don’t know any different. I just like to keep everyone happy. 

What brings you down?

I refuse to be down although the menopause is a pain the the arse. 

What’s your most memorable experience?

Passing my driving test, I’d done it for me!

What are your dreams?

Sometimes kids area a lost voice. I want to go into fostering children, especially the little ones. I want to put something back. In my mind I’ve taken a lot and not given much back. I’m going through a fostering programme at the moment, waiting to see if they’ll take us on. Maybe it’s something to do with feeling needed. My mum wasn't around much when I was a kid, she never gave me time. She was always working. I strive for my mum to tell me she loves me without having to prompt her. She was a war baby, a hard nut, she never cuddled for me. She shows more affection to my kids than she ever did to me. Whereas my grandad, he showed me nothing but love. Although he was a bit of a sod to my nan, he’d smack her around from time to time.

When I was little, me and my Dad were inseparable, then one day his best friend died and everything changed. He turned into a horrible person. He started drinking, became an alcoholic, had an affair and I lost all respect for him. I resent my dad for not being there. 

Who or what inspires you? 

Me, (laughing) I’ve always been a bit of a wallflower, standing in the background, then I decided to do a 10k Race for Life. I cried when I’d done it. My fella and the kids came to watch, I was so proud of myself.  

How do you feel about death?

My father in-law said to me when he was dying, “don’t be afraid to die, it doesn't hurt”. That gave me comfort. 

What do you think about life? 

Life inspires me. In a way I wish I did a bit more with my life. I think if you can take 10 mins of your life to help someone else, it enriches your life and it costs you nothing. It’s the small things, give people your time. 

I believe we have been put here for a purpose, I just haven't found my purpose yet. 

What would you like to leave for the next generation? 

I don’t like to see kids suffering. No one should starve or be homeless. Charity should begin at home, we should shut the gates on people coming into this country and deal with the problems we have here.

Are you free? 

Not really, I’d like to get up and walk out sometimes.