The Blog

I’m trying to stop resisting what is happening but something is different

Linda 51 single. Works full time make up artist. She has a zest for wisdom and self knowledge.

How are you?

I’m in a good mood and the sun is shinning. Life is getting harder though. Since being fifty I’ve really noticed ageing and its difficulties. I look at myself in the mirror and realise, “shit I’m a women in her fifties ”. Physically the hot flushes are insane. I’m trying to stop resisting what's happening but something is different. The menopause, it ages you on all levels. It makes me feel like a dried out wrinkled old prune. There’s a lot of embarrassment with the flushes. It’s total humiliation that people can see you going through an ageing process. I am much more invisible than I was -  it’s so important to be visible. 

How do you think other people see you?

It depends on what I’m showing them (laughing). Positive, caring, generous, bossy, opinionated, all of which I totally agree with. A successful woman, someone who will listen and be there and help. Self sufficient.

What makes you tick?

To be able to laugh, smile and appreciate who I am. My friends, family and nature. I’m pining to be in Spain right now, (she has a house there) that’s where I’m happiest. I don’t want to be there all the time but I feel free and unburdened in Spain in nature and on my own. I love spending time alone but also enjoy company - a balance. I have a good balance between work and my breaks. I am happy when I’m working because that gives me the money which gives me the freedom. 

What brings you down?

Superiority complexes, I can't bare them.

How do you see yourself?

As an ageing women who is still attractive, vibrant with life and vitality. I’m quite content and feel extremely lucky. 

How do you best express yourself?

“Look at me” (laughing) I love the Hollywood glamour, I want attention but then when I get it I freak out. She is dressed in her usual way; long black hair almost to her bum, deep red lipstick. She’s about 5ft, so always wears heels. She reminds me of a Spanish Flamenco dancer. 

Who or what inspires you?

People who are trying to be truthful to themselves. People who go through difficulties with a positive attitude. Colour, animals, flowers, trees, anything in nature and anything that is spiritual. 

What do you think about Life?

It’s hard but it’s also wonderful. There’s no getting away from it and it’s not easy. I feel quite sad saying that but that’s the first thing that came to my mind. 

What is your view on faith?

I believe in past lives and the afterlife. I do believe in karma. We are here to learn something that we didn't before and that’s probably why it’s hard.

What would you like to leave for the next generation?

Take responsibility for yourselves, respect yourself and others. Live every moment that you possibly can with grace and joy.

Are you free?

I am desperately trying to be and actually probably achieving it - but not fully.