I’d love articulate eloquence
Steph 42, married with three children. Full time mum and exhausted!
How are you?
I am in the middle of making a lot of decisions. I am feeling on the edge of uncertainty and unsure of the outcome. The day to day is fine but there's lots going on behind the scenes. There’s lots of inertia. The other day I sat on the floor in the laundry room and just cried.
How do you think other people see you?
It depends on the environment; a screaming mum in the playground a lot of the time, a bit uptight maybe?
Where does all your energy go?
On my children, husband and my emotional thoughts that need sorting out. Family stuff. My energy is zapped socially. I'm always the last one to leave the party and I wonder why I'm not able to rejuvenate. I need some sleep and a nice sandy beach.
What brings you down?
Feeling disorganised and out of control. I never realised I need to feel in control before.
What are your dreams?
Right now - to go somewhere on my own and just walk.
Who or what inspires you?
My Mum. She's so strong but she keeps it all inside. She's very passionate and wants to do more with her life but my Dad became ill in his late twenties and as a result has been disabled ever since. She's his full time carer. Her attitude is ...“this is my lot, get on with it” .
How do you see yourself?
Struggling - in deep water and out of control. I’m not carefree now. I feel incapable of doing things. I feel I’ve really aged in the last ten years.
How do you best express yourself?
I’d love to say through art but it’s not true! Through words, but my vocabulary is lacking. I’d love articulate eloquence but I find myself tongue tied at times. (I think she's doing just fine with her articulate eloquence!)
What do you think about life?
We don’t think about it a much as we should. I want every minute to count but life takes over.