The Blog

“Sex in exchange for handbags”

Rebecca 45 married with three children. Works full time at the BBC

How are you?

I’m tired a lot. My periods are heavier than they used to be. I need to claim a bit of time for myself. I’m trying to get fit and I’ve realised that if I don’t get fit I’ve allowed life to take over and it’s not good.

I’ve never made a firm decision about anything. I’ve always done the next thing that comes along. In lots of ways I’m happier now than I’ve ever been. I’ve reached a point where I don’t care what people think about me and my friends like me for who I am. It’s liberating and I feel blessed. 

What’s your most memorable experience? 

Having my children. I remember having had my first and being in bed, breast feeding him. The first day, the first few hours after he was born, there was blood on the sheets, scrambled eggs on the tray, a feeling of exhilaration. He was much longed for. (Laughing) the amount of times I woke my children when they were little by prodding them to make sure they were still breathing!

What brings you down?

When things go wrong in the family and if me and my Husband aren’t getting on. He finds it a bit depressing that I only really have sex when I’m drunk. I’ve just become more inhibited as I’ve got older. He’s much more highly sexed than me but once I get going I absolutely love sex. I’ve started negotiating - sex in exchange for handbags!

How do you see yourself?

Unfortunately as a podgy middle aged woman with self delusion. I see myself as a size 12 but I’m not. I wear Demis Roussos style clothing and feel deflated, then I comfort eat. I probably think about my size and weight all day long. I would be upset if someone said something and then one day a colleague did, and in his honesty I was cut down and very upset. It hit a nerve then my self destruct button switched on.