The Blog

“I needed to be a mother and the best mother I can possibly be.”

Melissa 46 from Essex. Married with three boys. Works part time as a dance teacher.

How are you? 

I’m frazzled. There’s too much going on. I’m forever box ticking. I've got to let it go a bit!

How do you see yourself?

I feel I’m failing all the time. I can be quite insecure but I'm a creature of habit and know what’s good for my mental health. I don’t do stress very well so I try to live a life where I call the shots. I take on too much. I’m a list person. I hand everything over to the list.  I have a real working class work ethic and I’m very good at this is the moment - grab it. 

What are your dreams?

Having my family -  it was my ultimate ambition - my life's great work! I don’t really care about anything else. I needed to be a mother and the best mother I can possible be. 

What about the household chores?

Living life is much more important than a tidy house. We have 'blue tasks & pink tasks' - his & hers!

How do you feel about marriage?

When I said 'I do', I didn’t mean negotiate my arse off for the rest of my life! (laughing) I love my husband with a passion. I married my first love. I like marriage - it’s a good thing. I’m glad I married the man I love. 

There should be more of a culture of 'you can’t have me unless you marry me'. As women I don’t think we draw the lines clearly enough.

What do you like about yourself?

I like that I have embraced my inner Essex. I like the bit of me that’s confident, serene, happy and beautiful. 

Are you free?

I’m free within the structure of responsibility and I wouldn't ever want to break from that. I made my choices in life, sometimes I’m a bit too attached to that!

What have you taken from today?

No marriage is unique, we all go through the cycles. I didn't know life inspires me but it does. I like life. It’s important to know what you need. If you can get to middle age and know what you need and how to get it - then that makes for a happy bunny!