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I’m not comfortable with people whose bladders are too close to their eyes

Pat 70, from Lancashire. Married for 50 years. She has two children, four grandchildren and is a lover of the simple things.

How are you?

I’m very good, content - even happy. I am very good at putting things to the back of my mind like bad memories and the bad stuff. There are times when I’ve been unhappy with the kids and marriage but commitment is the thing. I’ve never wanted more than I’ve had. We've had a comfortable life. My Husband has worked hard all his life and we are fortunate to have lived in the same home for the last 50 years. 

What’s your most memorable experience?

My son splitting up with his wife. It was worse than my Husband getting cancer. 

What do you think about marriage?

I’ve been married 50 years - I was a virgin! All he wanted was for me to have a nice home and a nice smile. Nobody promises it’s all singing and dancing. You have to appreciate the boringness of life. Never say anything against anyones husband! 

What do you think about life?

A lot of intelligent people think too much. I’m not a deep thinker - it doesn't do you any good. There are more questions than answers. People are looking for too much. If you run yourself into the ground it doesn't improve your personality.

There’s a few people round here that are content searching out a good pot of chutney. Some people think they're boring but they're not - they're just content. I like that. 

I think if we really cared about life we would care about the poor. We should show more respect. Life is a mystery. Things are presented to appear so important but they're not. It’s a nonsense; for example - feeding a dog when we eat other animals - something’s not right.

How do you see yourself?

A was a fairly spoilt child and a spoilt wife. A palmist once told me I was cherished. I’ve always felt I was the most important person in my Husbands life and my parents life.

When I was younger I was looking for more excitement, now I don’t seek it. I do like sameness and continuity. I possibly have too critical a nature. I can see bad where my Husband sees good. I can be picky to a ridiculous degree.

'I’m not comfortable with people whose bladders are too close too their eyes, I might cry in private but I don’t want other people to see it. Maybe I want to be in control'.

I busy myself with nonsense I’m quite shallow really. 

Where does all your energy go?

I have as much energy now as I’ve ever had but it doesn't go on as long -  so I have a nap. I chill out for a few hours so I can keep going into the evening. 

How do you best express yourself?

Facially, my face says it all. Through food and hospitality too. Our home is a home for people. I love to make people comfortable in my home. I attach more importance to people than things. I am fortunate - the happiest times are at my home. I’m happy with my dogs; the simplicities of life - watching the birds. It’s really peaceful, there’s no nattering. Being at one with nature and myself.

Are you free?

I just do what I want. I’m not shy and I don’t feel intimidated. I’m not impressed by most people, by brains or by money! I am impressed by the simplicity of my garden, but I am impressed by peoples’ liberation of freedom to opt out of the rat race.

 

70'sSam Bunchpat 70Comment